A drummer, tired from being ridiculed by his peers, decides to learn how to play some “real” musical instruments. He goes to a music store, walks in, approaches the store clerk, and says “I’ll take that red trumpet over there and that accordion.”
The store clerk looks at him a bit funny, and replies “OK, you can have the fire extinguisher but the radiator’s got to stay”.
How many bass players does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None; the keyboard player can do it with his left hand.
How do you know when there’s a singer at your front door?
Because he can’t find the key, and doesn’t know when to come in.
How do you get a keyboard player away from your front door?
Pay for the pizza.
Q: How many guitar players does it to take to change a lightbulb?
A: 5 …. One to change and 4 to say they could have done it better
Q: What’s the difference between a banjo and an onion?
A: Nobody cries when you chop up a banjo.
Q: What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A: A music critic.